Crossing the Equator Ceremony!

Last night I crossed the equator for the first time and apparently that is a
very big deal when you are at sea. Today we had a ceremony for all the
"polliwogs" who had never crossed before. I had heard rumors of terrible things they make you do at this ceremony. In the navy they take it way overboard, literally. They toss you off the ship or they dump fish guts on you, etc. Everyone kept telling me it was tame here at Oceania but I wasn't so sure I believed them. We all marched out behind King Neptune and one by one he called us in front of him to be judged. He accused us of crossing the equator without his permission and we must be punished. First I had to kiss a giant dead fish. Then I kneeled before him and had this delightful blue goo dumped on my head. Turns out they didn't think through the ingredients very well because it turned into a kind of paste. When I tried to wash it out of my hair later it didn't come out, it just balled up into little blue clumps. After about an hour washing my hair, I am still blue. But at least I am no longer a polliwog.